A Personal Blog for the Personal Lady

Mom: Hey do you wanna come to the Pampered Chef Party?

Me: Not Particularly…

Mom: You hate me don’t you?

Me: What?

Mom: you never wanna do anything with me anymore D;

Me: I just don’t want to go to the Pampered Chef Party.

Mom: Whatever, at least I know now.

—— later that day

Me: Mom I’m leaving.

Mom: …

Me: I love you. 

Mom:

Me: okay… bye I guess

This is probably gonna last for a week… 

I love having a bug fly  onto my computer screen… and then disappear… so that every single time I feel something on my skin… I begin slapping myself frantically…

There are things in this world that irritate me, oh, BIG SHOCK, right? They’re little things, very unimportant things, shouldn’t really bother me, but I’d just like to get them out there.

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So just playing skyrim minding my own business… 

when I see something on the ground out of the corner of my eye

it’s probably just a piece of paper or something… 

I’ll just continue killing these bandits…

it moves again…

I look over…

ITS A MOTHERFUCKIN SCORPION!

It was then that I realized the only thing that scares me more than spiders is scorpions… they’re like 95% more frightening because I never see them. So when I do I freak the fuck out.

I jumped onto the nearest table, may I remind you it’s about 1:00 A.M and I’m in my garage. My little puppy is laying in close proximity to this potentially deadly demon of an insect. So I made the decision to try to toss a fruit cup container at it, in order to capture it. I did not succeed. I had no shoes on, and nothing else around me to squish it with. But my dear little puppy is in danger of death. So I begin screaming…

as loud as possible, hoping that someone will come to my rescue. It takes about ten minutes for my mom to come in, and ten more minutes for her and my step-dad to kill it. Oh then there was that hour afterwards it took for me to get down from the table. 

I hate scorpions. 

As a High School Student, I know that 99.9% of assignments are graded for completion, and that the teacher wont look at any of my answers. So as long as I just fill out the sheet, and make it look like I did something, even if what I say isn’t of any real value, I’m sure to get a 100.

So when I come to questions like Why does carbon have so many bonds?

I smugly repsond like “because carbon is a hussy”

Or questions like “Como esta usted?”

I proudly write “gracias para vivar in su casa”

cockily assuming that I’m untouchable

 as a result I’m a super cool “Honor’s Kid”, however… I went through some of my graded works from the year, trying to sort through what I should keep, I came across a comment on one my free-response questions.  

At what point is the energy of a reaction at it’s highest? (one paragraph)

my response: The point in which the energy of a reaction is at it’s highest is approximately when the energy is higher than all the other lesser, more inferior energy points. At this maximum energy point, if you measured the energy it would be a lot more than any of the measurements of the other points in the reactions process. So that is the point when the energy of a reaction is at it’s highest. I don’t actually know, how you can write one paragraph on a question like this, but I’m giving it my best.  

Teachers comment: I’ve reviewed your answer, many times. You write in circles, repeating the same thing over and over with a different sentence structure. In truth this response is completely idiotic, and well, I think you can do better. However, everything you said was true, and I can’t deny it. But if this is the way you do all your papers… I’m onto you. PS: that is a very good drawing of an octopus.

my reaction to reading this…

initially

SHIT SHE CAUGHT ME

and she realizes I’m an idiot.

then I realized I still got full credit, and my octupus was greta. 

and now I’ll probably never learn from my mistakes… 

It’s Shakarian Sunday… and I can’t do anything cool… but I sure as hell can reblog! This makes me laugh out loud everytime… I seriously can’t get over this… I’m dead. NohateonShakarianthoughlovelies. This is just too perfect.

stupidgarrusedits:

Shaperd wuz fiting the rapers in USA wen she gotted hit by a lazer blasts. NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! Gares cryed, Sheaperd waz his tru loev. but than she waz OK and Garsu was happy agin. he runned ovar to help her w/ the rapers and fiting them and pulld her over to him and than he than kissd her w/ his blu tongeu in her mouth shuperd was so happy. Galrus I think we can beat them now bcuz you r helpeng me and he smilad. tehn they startd making out and moeaning rlly loud an d the rapers we’re kind of grossed out bcuz they dont kno wat luv is they we’re confuzd. than thru they’re love teh sinathis green lines happend nd every1 became half robot nd half ppl so Agrus n d Hespard had sex w/ his dikc in hur mouth bcuz they dint want to allrgic rection. BUT WHERE THE SAME THINGZ NOW WE ACN HAV TURNIAN HUMEN BABE’S LIEK U WANTED 2!! Shasperd yelld at him askitedly. Oh yea OK good Gwarass sed then put it his thing his dick in hur whole she pees frum. I thinkIm prengant now Shypserd sed nd kissd him goodly nd than thayen nd mordren nd asshaly wiams we’re alives agin bcuz of teh sintheases nd the rapers explodid bcuz of 2 much sinothesis. nd then 2 yrs latur shaphard haz 5 humen tariane krogern babys w/ gallus and they havz hapenis forevoerz.

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